Love in the Time of Brutalism

“Babe, I think you should carry your passport with you!” my wife said to me repeatedly before I left for Durham, North Carolina. Swar, a band led by Swapnil Sharma, an old friend from Nepal since our primary to plus-two days (Highschool), were set to perform there. It was exciting to get to see him after twenty-two years and watch him perform songs filled with themes of love, goodbyes, and the human condition—especially on the backdrop of some of the most chaotic times in our lifetime. It felt almost serendipitous.

I did decide to carry the passport with me, just in case I were to get shoved inside an SUV by icy authorities between Maryland and North Carolina. Fortunately, that didn’t happen to me personally but there are many who are living in this reality now. A reality that is filled with desolation, separation and brutality. Immigrants are being stripped of their humanity, while the ones frothing at their mouth cheering for more of this are also undressing their own humanity. It almost feels like they are riding this red wave and are unable to stop themselves, but the wave always ebbs and flows. There is a timeless phrase in Nepali; “दुःखमा नआत्तिनु सुखमा नमात्तिनु” which translates to: “Don’t get too lost in sorrow, nor too carried away in happiness.” It’s a reminder to stay grounded in defeat and in victory.

But on this pilgrimage to Durham, I was accompanied by friends and family over the phone, filled with talks about family life, kids and jokes. It felt like a perfect encapsulation of these dissonant times. I was about to witness and be part of a harmony that is Swar in the middle of this madness. After several hours of chatting and listening to music in the car, I finally made it to the venue. As I was walking towards it in the cold, I could smell the spices in the air and to my surprise, I noticed a momo food truck parked out front. I was starving and I thought, “This can’t get any better.” I had a plate of spicy steamed momo. With a warm and full belly, I grabbed a glass of beer and stood at the corner looking at a crowd of people eagerly waiting for the main act.

After some technical difficulties, the opening acts by Nepali musicians here in the USA; Dai Vai, Ujjwal, and Rawkxy, played beautiful originals of their own and great covers such as “Taal ko Paani” by the evergreen Nepathya. It was a perfect set up for Swar to follow. We were all waiting for Swar to come in eventually to serenade us.

During one of the opening performances, I was able to enter the green room backstage. In a very crammed room full of managers, videographers, interviewers, and family members, I went up to Swapnil. What felt like a time warp, seeing an old friend from childhood took me right back to the school days from 30 years ago running around the playground and talking about music. Having seen him perform on stage for as long as I can remember, it is of no surprise that he would be an iconic figure in Nepali music scene right now. In the midst of them getting ready to go on stage, we were able to connect over our present and past. I let him know of my appreciation of what he is putting out there, lyrics full of positivity and love. Swar and Swapnil come as a blessing to many in this moment in a world full of brutalism of politics and lifeless artificial intelligence.

I was not alone to feel this way. As they went on stage, the cheers and excitement took over the room. Every one of us was ready to be part of this evening to experience the beautiful sounds under one roof, to sing along to the ballads of human conditions. With the incomparable Rohit Shakya on guitar, Swapnil started to sing through all their hits including “Aparibhasit”, “Ma Mare pani”, “Badal Sari”, “Udirahechan” and my personal favorite, their new single “Bidhaai”. Live music is a world of its own, especially with the commanding presence of Swapnil on stage. He can grab the attention of the crowd and make them a part of the band itself. It felt like a living room jam session with everyone harmonizing to the words of love, perseverance and acceptance. This was a different world than outside. Outside was cold, but inside it was warm. Outside was ruthless; inside was accepting. Swar took us through the duality of this life and the world we are living in.

After almost two hours of tour de force from Swar, many started to disperse and make their way out the door. Some lined up to meet and greet the band. I stayed back to tell Swapnil my thank you for giving an unforgettable performance and my bidhaai, a goodbye until next time. I walked back to my car and took off at around midnight to get back home to Maryland to my wife and kids with a refreshed reminder that we can all find harmony in embracing family, reconnecting with old friends, steaming plate of momo, cold glass of beer, and some good live music.

***Swar plays in Harrisburg, PA on January 24th as they finish up their USA tour, before heading back to Nepal. Tickets @ https://www.eventbrite.com/e/swar-live-in-harrisburg-tickets-1977783011227